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A Sexual Service Announcement

August 5, 2010


I’d like to preface this post by saying that I am by no means the moral authority by which one should judge or alter their standards and morals. Take my thoughts as you will. Debate them, embrace them, appreciate them, hate them. Hell, as long as you read them, I don’t care.

A few afternoons ago, I was having a phone conversation with a friend. Like most conversations that occur only once every month or so, we talked on many topics — the banal, the exciting and the taboo. I asked for an update on his love life, hoping to hear some juicy gossip or maybe a refreshing love story. Instead, he remarked that there was nothing new at all. When asked if he was at least finding sexual satisfaction amidst his barren love life, he gawked, “Oh no. I’ve changed my ways. I had to get my life right.”

This ignited a fury of debate in my mind. Is sex something that can only be enjoyed and appreciated when in a relationship? Why do we often equate a healthy sex life to moral deviance? Is it fair to pressure one to change their sexual habits in order to satiate a societal norm that says we must not participate in such carnal desires, in order to please parents and religious institutions?

It seems as though people are quick to say that participating in sexual activity, be it safe and responsible, is only indicative of a life that is not “right.” Somehow, in order for one to be “right” in their life, a person must also be deprived of the simplest and most inexpensive form of pleasure.

I understand that some people would like to reserve the act of sexual intercourse or sexual foreplay for a time when they can label the person they are with as a “partner,” but I would just like to open the realm of possibility that sexual pleasure is okay and perhaps is not to be denied, despite relationship status, if done responsibly.

If sex has been proven to release stress, fight the aging process, make one happier (through the release of endorphins), burn calories, boost self-esteem, and give you a better night’s sleep, then why deny yourself the benefits?

I’m not calling for a protest or a global “We are the World” for fucking.  I’m simply hoping that, with the continuance of our progressive thinking, we start to challenge the conventions of sex and sexual identity.  For, it is my belief that the problems are not with the act itself, but with the effects of ignorantly abusing a body’s natural desire.

Just remember the next time you or someone shuts down the idea of a good sexual “pick me up”, a healthy sexual life does not automatically indicate sexual promiscuity or irresponsibility. #Foodforthought.

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